child care and development in Stockbridge, Georgia

Why You Can't Really "Win" an Argument with Your Child 
 
Why does arguing with your child give him power? When you engage in fights with your child, over time he will begin to believe that he is your peer and that he has the power to challenge you. This is a loaded situation because your child doesn't realize that this empowerment he's feeling isn't real. The more powerful he thinks he is (and the more the defiant behavior gets him what he wants) the more he will use fighting as a way to solve his problems.
 
It's so important to learn how to manage this type of behavior in your kids. I know this isn't easy-in fact, it's probably one of the most difficult things you have to learn as a parent. The lesson here is, "How can I let my child mature and individuate with the least amount of fights possible?" Remember, the goal here is for your child to learn how to be responsible, communicate well with others, and develop problem-solving skills.

Is it ever okay to argue?

Let me be clear: there is a difference between a disagreement and a habitual pattern of arguing with your child. You want to teach your kids appropriate ways to communicate a disagreement. Knowing how to express disagreements in an effective way is an important life skill. Generally, it's best to talk about things you don't agree on when both of you are calm. Your child should learn how to state his or her point of view in a respectful way (without name-calling or being rude). Listening is also a critical skill here, because you want to be able to hear what the other person has to say without negating them or becoming defensive. In the end, you may not change your mind, but at least each side has spoken and been heard.

Fighting=Losing Ground

As a parent, I understand how easy it is to get into fights with your child. Power struggles can occur over issues large and small, from getting your child to clean her room to arguing over homework and curfew times. Something my husband and I always said was, "You don't have to attend every fight you're invited to." That means that you don't have to get sucked into an argument every time your child wants to have one.

An important thing to realize is that you can't really "win" a fight with your child. When an argument escalates, hurtful things are often said, people become reactive, and there is a likelihood of continued mis-communication and when that happens, nobody wins. When you get into argumentative patterns with your kids, you will simply end up losing ground.  Your child will stop listening to your rules, because he'll know that if he argues with you, there's a chance you'll give in. After all, one of the main reasons kids continue to fight with their parents is because they know they might be able to wear us down and get us to change our minds.
  

Courtesy of:  EmpoweringParents.com


 
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10 Ways to Be a More Positive Parent 
(continued)
 

6. Ignore Benign Inappropriate Behavior

Scolding your child when he misbehaves can fuel his craving for attention. If you overlook annoying or benign behavior, your kid is less likely to repeat it. See what a difference it makes when you praise your child for being good, rather than chiding him for misbehaving! This rule only applies to non-disruptive behavior-harmful behaviors and actions should never be ignored.

 

7. Give Options

To promote independence, give your child a choice between two options. Asking your child to help you clean the house may instigate an argument. Instead, give her a choice of chores to tackle: "It's time to clean up the house. Do you want to put away the dishes or the dolls?" This will make your little one feel respected.

 

8. Redirect to Acceptable Substitutes

If your child is misbehaving, remove her from the problem area and redirect her to another activity. Provide alternative activities that the child can do instead of telling her what not to do: "Annie, it's not safe to pull cereal boxes out from the bottom of the display. Please help me pick out some apples for today's snack."

 

9. Foster Problem Solving

Promote critical thinking and resolution skills. Direct children through the five steps of the problem solving process:    

1. What is the problem? 
2. What can you do?
3. What might happen if ... ?
4. Choose a solution and use it.
5. Is it working?
  
10. Connect Actions with Consequences

Help your child understand the cause-and-effect connection between behavior and consequences. This will help your child repeat a desired behavior ("Ruth, you did not wash your hands before lunch. Please go to the bathroom and wash them"), make good on bad behavior ("Mike, when we draw on books, other kids cannot use them; please erase the marks"), and understand that privileges may be temporarily revoked for misbehavior ("Alex, I reminded you that you shouldn't splash others with water at the painting table; you'll need to play somewhere else today.")

 

Please see April Edition #2 for
 suggestions 1-5...
 

 

IN MAY 2103

 

Get Caught Reading is a nationwide campaign to remind people of all ages how much fun it is to read. May is Get Caught Reading month, but the campaign is promoted throughout the year. Get Caught Reading is supported by the Association of American Publishers (AAP). Launched in 1999, "Get Caught Reading" is the brainchild of former Congresswoman Pat Schroeder, President and Chief Executive Officer of AAP, the industry association representing book publishers. She saw the opportunity to spread the word about the joys of reading through an industry-supported literacy campaign.

 

Because of research indicating that early language experience actually stimulates a child's brain to grow and that reading to children gives them a huge advantage when they start school, we hope to encourage people of all ages to enjoy books and magazines and to share that pleasure with the young children in their lives.

 

We are honored to have the support of well known figures including First Lady Laura Bush, Drew Carey, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Donald Duck, Patty Duke, Whoopi Goldberg, Billy Graham, Derek Jeter, Vernon Jordan, Jake Lloyd, Rosie O'Donnell, Dolly Parton, The Rugrats, Jane Seymour, Sammy Sosa, Spider Man, Erik Weihenmayer, and Robin Williams, who have all been "caught reading" their favorite books and magazines for print ads and posters seen by millions of people across the country. In addition, more than 200 Members of Congress have been photographed "caught reading" on Capitol Hill. All of these images are available on the website.

 

Hundreds of teachers and librarians across the U.S. have embraced the campaign. They are setting up "Get Caught Reading" corners, allocating a special time each day for leisure reading, and taking photos of students "caught reading" for classroom posters.

 

Send us your photos for our Facebook page...Let's see how many Meliora families "get caught reading"!

 

 

In This Issue
Article Title
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School Events
Video: Read a Book
Go Bears!
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Barry has lots for you to do in May...visit him today!

 

Reading lists, parenting tips, learning and craft activities, recommended games or videos...something for the whole family!  Click on Barry ...

 



 

What's Up at Barrington?


 

Teacher Appreciation Week

Let's show our teachers how much we love them! 

  May 6 - Candy Day
May 7 - Picture Frame Day
May 8 - Candle day
May 9 - Pamper your teacher (lotion, perfume, body spray, etc)
May 10 - Gift card Day

 

Spirit Week  

Let's celebrate the end of a great school year....show your spirit!

 

May 20 - Sports Day
May 21 - Wacky Tacky Day
May 22 - Crazy Hat Day
May 23 - Pajama/Movie Day
 



 

Read a Book - Children's Song By The Learning Station
Read a Book - Children's Song By The Learning Station


 

 

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March through May at Cochran Park...See our FaceBook page for the game schedule.
 

 


Quote of the Month

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"There is no trust more sacred than the one the world holds with      children. There is no duty more important than ensuring that their rights are respected, that their welfare is protected, that their lives are free from fear and want and that they grow up in peace."  

 

-- Kofi Annan

 


Mother's Day Children's Song:
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21st Century Moms!


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Monday, May 27th
in observance of 
Memorial Day

Teresa Hill  / 810 Flat Rock Road / Stockbridge, Georgia 30281 / (770) 474 0772  

 

 

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